Frank Zappa once said, “If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.” I must be some sort of exception to the rule, because I have been at the University of Guelph for a few years now, and all I have to show for it is the results of the latter. I mean if people are truly paying over ten thousand dollars each year to be schooled somewhere like Guelph, does that implicate University as the most expensive form of prostitution available? And if this were at all true would it make OSAP Canada’s most lucrative P.I.M.P’s?
The weirdest part of my inability to get girls at the University I attend is that there is said to be a four girl to one guy ratio, or in small town terms the ratio is said to be at four girls to every Bass Pro Shop hat, yet I have never personally experienced this, it is what people tell me about Guelph. If it is true though there is some dude out there who owes me big time, because I am not anywhere near four women in my time at school. Maybe it is time I stop using Frank Zappa quotes every time I talk to girls, and to get myself a new hat!