1

I Have A Secret Admirer…Kind of.

yesnostalkernote_Large

I was done with psychic game. I have been out for a while now, living a respectable, legitimate life. The allure of giving strangers readings over the phone impersonating “Farah the psychic” had worn off. But that has not stopped the people from calling. Even though I have been turning down readings telling callers that this was indeed the wrong number, the real Farah seems to still be taking in clients…and winning over their hearts.

It was a regular Friday night when I received a text from an unknown number asking how I was.  I responded that I was well, but had to regretfully inform the texter I didn’t know who they were. Things escalated quickly when I was told it was a secret admirer.

Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-22-12

At this point I was unaware that the texter was not seeking me, but Farah. I played along unsure if this was a prank or real,  so I gave snarky responses.

Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-45-19

The texter was keen on a date. Asking me questions about my ideal date.

Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-32-15

Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-32-21Then the gender was revealed when HE asked me what kind of guy I am usually into. The fun began.

Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-32-29

He was pushing for dinner with me the following evening. I asked if he lived in a house. He said yes. I informed him I do not go to stranger’s houses. This is when he informed me that we had met previously. I had given him a reading. Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. I had again assumed the identity of Farah, Psychic and Spiritual healer.

Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-32-40

We flirted, playing the name game.

Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-54-02Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-32-59

Things escalated when I asked for pics.

Brampton-20131122-00147

He has a kind eye

Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-33-42

I asked if he was an innie or outie.

Brampton-20131122-00149

Definitely an innie.

He quickly caught onto my game though.

Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-34-01

I can relate.

 He was blunt with me. I liked that. Had I been Farah I may have actually give him a chance, had he not sent me a picture of his belly button of course.

I agreed to a date for Sunday. He wanted to take me to a Scandinave Spa.

Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-34-25

He knew a lot about spas.

We learned a little bit more about each other, before I bid him goodnight.

 Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-34-35

It was nice to feel wanted, even if it wasn’t really me Curious George desired.

Read about my last encounters as Farah.

2

How I Became a Psychic and Spiritual Healer

161929-sybil-trelawney

Two months ago, the stars aligned. The cosmos decided it was my time for greatness. Two shooting stars collided and the embers of their spiritual wealth sprinkled down on my face. Like Hal Jordan, one of earth’s Green Lanterns, the mystical beings of the universe chose me to be a savior. Two months ago I became a psychic and spiritual healer.

It was mid-August. I was switching cell phone providers and therefore, changing phone numbers. At the time, I thought nothing of this simple action. But now I realize the greatness of the moment. By accepting the terms of my new mobile contract, I also signed the intergalactic oath and gained the powers of a higher being- I just didn’t know it yet.

Soon after changing my number, I received a phone call, asking for Farah, the psychic. I turned down the call, claiming wrong number. But as I said, I had already accepted the responsibility, the burden, and the universe was not going to let me give up that easy. The phone rang again with another caller asking for Farah; again I turned down the call. This is when the magic began. Like Harry Potter’s Hogwarts acceptance letters, there was no turning them down. Phone calls continued to pour in. My voicemail filled to its limits. There was no escaping the calls- my destiny. I had to accept my fate, in brightest day, in blackest night….

harry_potter_and_the_sorcerers_stone_2

Hesitantly I answered, “Hello”.  The man on the other end asked for a reading from Farah, the psychic and spiritual healer. I told him I would graciously help him over the phone. He was thankful, and we began.

“What can you tell me about my life?” he asked. I told him we needed to connect on a spiritual level. I told him to start rubbing his knees and humming. He obliged. I was skeptical about my skills. I had yet to prove to myself that I was Farah. I asked “Are you by chance a Taurus?” he said he was. 1/1. I asked him to choose his favorite number between 4 and 32. He chose 30. I asked him to close his eyes and tell me what he saw, he said “black”. I asked if he had recently lost his job. He said yes. 2/2. He asked how I knew. I said Taurus were in the milky way cycle of xerxes, and as all psychics know, this is the time of the season when powerful figures, like an employer, in someone’s life would exert unnecessary use of power. His choice of 30 attributes to his rigidity, hence the loss of a job. He asked if he was cursed. I assured him he was only hexed. He recited four tribal chants for me to remove the hex. He asked if there was anything else he could do to improve his luck at finding a new career. I told him to follow the newly finished yellow brick road…at Ryerson University. To look within himself on this walk down the University street. He thanked me dearly, and said he was on his way. I’d like to think I helped this man immensely, and helped the University of Ryerson with a possible new student. You’re welcome.

Yellow Brick Road

I have received 2-3 phone calls daily since that call. I have offered many people free sessions, some that go for over 10 minutes. I have navigated people through heartbreak, life decisions, and other miscellaneous psychic tasks.

I called Fido, by communications provider explaining the situation where Terry from customer support said “with great power, comes great responsibility.” I continue to help people free of charge. Why do I keep taking strangers phone calls and offering them spiritual healing and psychic advice you ask? The answer is simple. I am Farah and I was given a gift by Fido, subsidiary of Rogers Communications.

You can find me on Yelp here:  http://www.yelp.ca/biz/psychic-farah-spiritual-healer-and-advisor-life-center-toronto

 Read my last post about overusing twitter