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In Defence of Guys Who invite You Over To Watch a Movie

This can happen in my basement!

Yesterday, while perusing the internet for knowledge(not hoes) I came across an article on a website that I definitely don’t frequent called “Betches Love This.” If you don’t know what that site is about(neither do I, because obviously I would never read a site called “Betches Love This” because I’m a guy) it’s basically an episode of HBO Girls in blog form(I also would never watch HBO Girls because I am a straight male, so I’m just assuming).The article, is a letter penned to “Guys Who Invite Me Over to Watch a Movie.” The gist of the letter is, guys invite girls over to watch a movie because their main intention is to get down and dirty, and don’t even plan on watching the movie. My response:

Dear Girls who think I am inviting them over to watch a movie only to get in their pants.

Obviously, if I want to spend time with you romantically, I want to get in or near your pants….eventually! Even Noah Callhoun wants to get in Allies pants the second he meets her, does that take away from the amazing romantic guy he is? Come on, a movie date has been a staple in dating history since…ever.  You know that famous romantic movie that everyone loves? I think it’s called Annie Hall. Well, in that pretty famous romantic movie, the main characters Alvy and Annie go on a date…to a movie! Even in movies the characters go on dates to the movies. Now you’re going to say “Yeah he took her out! You’re just being lazy and cheap by making the girl watch a movie at your house!” To that I say; you think I’m being lazy and not putting in effort by inviting you over for a movie? How do you know I don’t know your taste in movies and spent a lot of time researching, scouring movie lists to find a film that you will love? Did you ever stop to wonder that I put on that great movie by that acclaimed female director because I knew that was your sort of thing? THAT’S RIGHT YOU DIDN’T! Because you thought I was being lazy and didn’t even give me the opportunity!

This can happen in my basement!

This can happen in my basement! Also, see- he is focused on HER!!!

You say you can’t get to know someone by watching a movie with them? Don’t you think we could talk at length after the movie about our opinions and thoughts, and then turn that conversation into something even grander than the both of us and have a moment in which we could be truly infinite?! No, you didn’t think that way because you were so stuck up and didn’t think I would watch 12 Years a Slave with you. Well guess what, I would. I would watch whatever you wanted, whatever made you happy, because if I am inviting you over for a movie, it means more than I want to bone, it means I WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU! I would love to take you out on a fun date! In fact I have a self-made list of fantastic date ideas that I hope I can someday use(because they would be really fun). But every once in a while(every day) I just want to watch a movie! Why can’t you share that joy with me?

Then, you complain that we have to watch it on my laptop? I’m sorry that I live with my parents because I am a student, and that I don’t just take over the house and stop them from using their nice TV so I can watch what I want. I am mindful of my surroundings and therefore, am stuck watching on my laptop. SORRY that I couldn’t offer you the finest of screens! If you give me the chance of longevity, instead of a nice white house on the lake, I will build you a movie theatre of luxury, just so we can watch movies together(I will take carpentry classes first).

So next time betches, if a guy invites you over for a movie, and he invites you over before the time of  9:00 PM, he might be more than just some “Guy Who Invites You Over to ‘Watch a Movie.'” He might be a guy that invites you over to spend time with you….and watch a movie.

Stop being awful,

The Guys who actually love movies.

I can be an older guy, you can be Penelope Cruz, and we can watch a movie and cuddle...IN MY BASEMENT!

I can be an older guy, you can be Penelope Cruz, and we can watch a movie and cuddle…IN MY BASEMENT!

Read my last blog about Neknominations(and their stupidity).

1

I Have A Secret Admirer…Kind of.

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I was done with psychic game. I have been out for a while now, living a respectable, legitimate life. The allure of giving strangers readings over the phone impersonating “Farah the psychic” had worn off. But that has not stopped the people from calling. Even though I have been turning down readings telling callers that this was indeed the wrong number, the real Farah seems to still be taking in clients…and winning over their hearts.

It was a regular Friday night when I received a text from an unknown number asking how I was.  I responded that I was well, but had to regretfully inform the texter I didn’t know who they were. Things escalated quickly when I was told it was a secret admirer.

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At this point I was unaware that the texter was not seeking me, but Farah. I played along unsure if this was a prank or real,  so I gave snarky responses.

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The texter was keen on a date. Asking me questions about my ideal date.

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Screenshot_2013-11-25-15-32-21Then the gender was revealed when HE asked me what kind of guy I am usually into. The fun began.

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He was pushing for dinner with me the following evening. I asked if he lived in a house. He said yes. I informed him I do not go to stranger’s houses. This is when he informed me that we had met previously. I had given him a reading. Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. I had again assumed the identity of Farah, Psychic and Spiritual healer.

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We flirted, playing the name game.

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Things escalated when I asked for pics.

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He has a kind eye

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I asked if he was an innie or outie.

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Definitely an innie.

He quickly caught onto my game though.

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I can relate.

 He was blunt with me. I liked that. Had I been Farah I may have actually give him a chance, had he not sent me a picture of his belly button of course.

I agreed to a date for Sunday. He wanted to take me to a Scandinave Spa.

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He knew a lot about spas.

We learned a little bit more about each other, before I bid him goodnight.

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It was nice to feel wanted, even if it wasn’t really me Curious George desired.

Read about my last encounters as Farah.