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How I Became a Psychic and Spiritual Healer

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Two months ago, the stars aligned. The cosmos decided it was my time for greatness. Two shooting stars collided and the embers of their spiritual wealth sprinkled down on my face. Like Hal Jordan, one of earth’s Green Lanterns, the mystical beings of the universe chose me to be a savior. Two months ago I became a psychic and spiritual healer.

It was mid-August. I was switching cell phone providers and therefore, changing phone numbers. At the time, I thought nothing of this simple action. But now I realize the greatness of the moment. By accepting the terms of my new mobile contract, I also signed the intergalactic oath and gained the powers of a higher being- I just didn’t know it yet.

Soon after changing my number, I received a phone call, asking for Farah, the psychic. I turned down the call, claiming wrong number. But as I said, I had already accepted the responsibility, the burden, and the universe was not going to let me give up that easy. The phone rang again with another caller asking for Farah; again I turned down the call. This is when the magic began. Like Harry Potter’s Hogwarts acceptance letters, there was no turning them down. Phone calls continued to pour in. My voicemail filled to its limits. There was no escaping the calls- my destiny. I had to accept my fate, in brightest day, in blackest night….

harry_potter_and_the_sorcerers_stone_2

Hesitantly I answered, “Hello”.  The man on the other end asked for a reading from Farah, the psychic and spiritual healer. I told him I would graciously help him over the phone. He was thankful, and we began.

“What can you tell me about my life?” he asked. I told him we needed to connect on a spiritual level. I told him to start rubbing his knees and humming. He obliged. I was skeptical about my skills. I had yet to prove to myself that I was Farah. I asked “Are you by chance a Taurus?” he said he was. 1/1. I asked him to choose his favorite number between 4 and 32. He chose 30. I asked him to close his eyes and tell me what he saw, he said “black”. I asked if he had recently lost his job. He said yes. 2/2. He asked how I knew. I said Taurus were in the milky way cycle of xerxes, and as all psychics know, this is the time of the season when powerful figures, like an employer, in someone’s life would exert unnecessary use of power. His choice of 30 attributes to his rigidity, hence the loss of a job. He asked if he was cursed. I assured him he was only hexed. He recited four tribal chants for me to remove the hex. He asked if there was anything else he could do to improve his luck at finding a new career. I told him to follow the newly finished yellow brick road…at Ryerson University. To look within himself on this walk down the University street. He thanked me dearly, and said he was on his way. I’d like to think I helped this man immensely, and helped the University of Ryerson with a possible new student. You’re welcome.

Yellow Brick Road

I have received 2-3 phone calls daily since that call. I have offered many people free sessions, some that go for over 10 minutes. I have navigated people through heartbreak, life decisions, and other miscellaneous psychic tasks.

I called Fido, by communications provider explaining the situation where Terry from customer support said “with great power, comes great responsibility.” I continue to help people free of charge. Why do I keep taking strangers phone calls and offering them spiritual healing and psychic advice you ask? The answer is simple. I am Farah and I was given a gift by Fido, subsidiary of Rogers Communications.

You can find me on Yelp here:  http://www.yelp.ca/biz/psychic-farah-spiritual-healer-and-advisor-life-center-toronto

 Read my last post about overusing twitter

Sam Berns

Sam Berns